Know-It-All
by badly-knitted
Summary: Ianto's been shopping at the local auction… Written for the prompt 'bidding on the wrong lot at an auction,' at fic promptly. Maybe Jack isn't as smart as he pretends to be.


**Title:** Know-It-All

 **Author:** badly-knitted

 **Characters:** Ianto, Jack

 **Rating:** PG

 **Spoilers:** Nada.

 **Summary:** Ianto's been shopping at the local auction…

 **Word Count:** 675

 **Written For:** My own prompt 'Any, any, bidding on the wrong lot at an auction,' at fic_promptly.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Torchwood, or the characters. They belong to the BBC.

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 **sandysan2013:** Jack thinks he understands Ianto, and in some ways he does, but there's more going on than even he can guess. He's in for a shock.

Yes, Ianto definitely feels guilty about Annie. Tanizaki, well, he feels guilty for causing another death, but I don't think he'll feel so bad about who it was who died.

Thank you!

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OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

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Ianto's trip to the local auction had been a success, overall. Well, for the most part, anyway. After a false start when he'd bid on, and won, something he hadn't intended to bid on at all, he'd managed to snag both of the lots he'd been after, alien tech that would be safer in Torchwood's hands.

He returned to the Hub laden with the lots he'd bought and hoping to sneak them down to the archives without being stopped. No such luck; Jack was waiting for him just inside the cog door.

"Ianto, you're back! How did the auction go?"

"Not bad, I didn't have too much competition for the lots I was bidding on."

"Well, bring 'em up to my office, let me see what we're adding to the archives!"

"You want to see them?"

"It's been a slow morning. Besides, why should you have all the fun? At least let me see what I'm paying for."

"Technically, it's Torchwood that's paying, not you personally."

"Same difference."

Ianto rolled his eyes but let Jack's statement pass without comment. Cursing his bad luck, he carted his booty up to Jack's office. He'd just have to confess to wasting some of Torchwood's money and hope Jack would see the funny side.

As he entered the office, Jack was shifting a pile of paperwork off his desk to make room.

"Put them down here and we'll see what we've got."

Wishing his accidental purchase had been small enough to hide in his pocket, Ianto set everything down in the cleared space and started trying to come up with an explanation that didn't make him look as stupid as he felt.

"Aha! What do we have here?" Jack reached for the first item, turning it over in his hands. "Is this a Delosian laser? Good thing this is off the market before someone manages to turn in on and cut off something important. Better put this is the secure archives once it's been catalogued."

Ianto nodded. "My thinking exactly." He watched as Jack set the laser carefully to one side.

"Oh, nice!" Jack picked up the second item. "Medical scanner, right?"

"From Crepis Major, I think."

"Major or Minor, one of the two. Owen will love playing with that." Jack placed it beside the laser and reached for the last item.

Ianto opened his mouth to explain that he'd been distracted by a certain person sending him suggestive texts and bid on the wrong lot, but Jack got in first.

"Wow! I haven't seen one of these since I was in the Time Agency! It's Crevellian, right?" Jack studied it carefully. "A portable data device if I'm not mistaken. Pretty good condition too, except the screen seems to be missing, and the power source. Shame about that, Tosh would have had fun with it. Good find anyway, maybe the other parts will show up at a later date."

"We can hope. I'll keep looking, you never know what might turn up in the next auction catalogue."

"Three pieces of alien tech, that's a pretty decent haul for a single auction. Good work, Mr. Jones. What did this little lot set us back?"

"A fairly reasonable hundred and seventeen pounds, including auction fees."

Jack nodded. "That won't break the bank. Well, get them processed for storage and the database, then bring the laser back up and we'll get it safely locked away. Just be careful with it, I don't want you missing any important bits."

"Never fear, Sir, I'll take the utmost care."

"I know, you always do," Jack replied with a grin. "So, are we on for dinner tonight?"

"Yep! Looking forward to it." Gathering up the three devices, Ianto left Jack's office and headed down to the archives. He should have guessed that the infallible leader of Torchwood would never admit that he didn't know what something was. Maybe one day he'd tell Jack that the Crevellian data device was really just an antique earth-made calculator. Still, at least he was off the hook for wasting money!

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The End


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